Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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