dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
