their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
