It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize