I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
