You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
