id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize