Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
