So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
