Don't you send me to vm
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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