Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
