I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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