I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
