physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
