why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
