i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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