Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
