he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
