i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
