Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
