fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
