you guys were way drunker than both of me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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