direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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