Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
