why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well you can't waste a boner
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize