i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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