just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize