Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
