I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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