Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i've created a new STD.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
