love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i barfeds in our rink
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
