The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
