She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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