HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
