Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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