hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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