Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
