Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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