We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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