He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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