If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
