WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
