I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
