There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
