Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can't motorboat a personality
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
