Sponge bath it is.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
