We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
