ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
