im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize