we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
