Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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