I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
