My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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