i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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