After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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