Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
