we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
