id be glad to
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
