ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
