he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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