She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
