But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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