Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
did i just pee glitter
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
