She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm at about main and main street
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
