I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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