It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
