What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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